Image: Katerina Jebb, "Auto Portrait Oral" (1996).
]]>"THE AESTHETIC
Some butt toys are butt ugly, but this guy is very cute with a minimalist silhouette, chic grey shade and rounded bumps. The flange (i.e. the part that keeps it from getting lost) is functional but not annoyingly gigantic.
THE SETTINGS
Tired of your boring old butt plug? How about 12 different vibration settings? That’s a lot of vibe variety!
THE REVIEW
This toy is a great option for both butt newbies and experienced adventurers. It offers the opportunity to ease in (pun intended) with the three bumps offering different “levels” (hot tip for butt beginners: Use another vibe on your clitoris to help you relax). Already skilled in this area? You’ll love the numerous speed and pattern options—and how deep it feels for a modest-sized plug. And if you like a little moment in the shower? This guy is waterproof so you’re good to go." - Via thekit.ca.
“I bought my first vibrator in college. It was one of those cheap, weak bullet vibes. I tried to use it a couple times and promptly threw it out, finding that it didn’t do much for me. I actually preferred my hand or a hand-held shower head and dismissed vibrators for years and years after that one experience.
Fast forward a decade plus. I got curious again and felt ready to buy my second and third sex toys (which, I think still made me new to sex toys?). I had more experience, both with myself and other people by this time, and had a better idea of what I liked. I had never thought that sex toys could provide other sensations to explore.
After much research, I decided on Lelo’s Sona and Njoy’s Pure Wand as my second and third toys ever. I’ve never seen the Sona and Pure Wand recommended as “beginner” toys—I guess due to Sona’s strength and Pure Wand’s “intimidating” heavy stainless steel material and both of their high prices. However, I think that for me they were the perfect new beginner sex toys.
I really do understand the advice to start gentle and work your way up, and how that would make sense to plenty of folks. But I do think that there is opportunity to learn about yourself—what kinds of sensations and responses your body can have—with a toy that is considered to be advanced. The Sona gave me orgasms I had never had before—extremely fast, messy, intense orgasms. Shocking and delightful for someone my age to have a different kind of orgasm. I feel that it almost took a learning curve to be able to have any control over it—but that learning curve was FUN and taught me about what my body had the capacity for. I consider it to be too powerful for me on days when I would simply like to have a great orgasm efficiently and reliably. For that I now have We-Vibe’s Touch X (and Womanizer Premium before that was released). But I don’t think it was a waste to get Sona even though I use it less than my other vibes, I just use Sona when I want a different, more intense experience.
I think it also makes sense that if you’re new to penetrative sex you may want to start with smaller, more gentle or malleable silicone insertable toys (dildos). However! Njoy’s Pure Wand was the third sex toy I had ever purchased after doing a ton of research and feeling that it met a lot of my personal criteria (and I had never owned a dildo before)—it’s beautifully designed and timeless, and I knew that I was really intrigued by the prospect of the weight and pressure that a stainless steel dildo could give me, as well as the versatility of having 2 ends to use (one larger, one smaller). I can see someone who is new to insertable sex toys but curious about their g-region finding plenty of non-scary pleasure with the small end of the Pure Wand, and working their way up to the larger end if they choose.
Price-wise, I already have a mind-set that I prefer to spend on things that are high-quality and long-lasting—I feel that way when I shop for clothing, footwear and bags as well. I think that the Pure Wand, Touch X, Premium and Sona all meet that criteria.
I wouldn’t dismiss toys that are considered to be “advanced” if you’re new to sex toys (that seems to make a lot of assumptions about new users, how individual sexual response can be, and personal capacity or desire for pleasure and exploration). I’d just have a personal checklist in mind and remember that everyone is different, and everyone is looking for different things and that “beginner” and “advanced” will mean different things to different people.”
Some things to think about and how to get an idea for what you might be looking for from a vibrator or sex toy:
As told to The Feltt by Anonymous, who identifies as a cis woman. Products referred to are used as vulva toys. If you have questions about any of our products feel free to email us at any time: info@thefeltt.com.
]]>L-R: Womanizer Liberty, Satisfyer Curvy 1+, Satisfyer Curvy 2+, Womanizer Premium, Womanizer Duo
The nozzles on air pulse toys are designed to fit over the clitoris, but the parts that pulse are not intended to directly touch the clitoris like traditional vibrators that lay right on the body. Instead, they pulse the air around the clitoris and the silicone nozzle is also able to transmit vibrations. People have different clitoris sizes and each brand has different nozzle sizes. Womanizer’s nozzles are removable (they provide 2 for each device—the size difference is 1/8” extra depth), while Satisfyer’s feature their own separate vibration function.
Nozzle size from smallest to largest:
Womanizer Duo - L/W 1/2", Depth 7/8” (1.4 x 1.4 x 2.2 cm)
Womanizer Liberty - L 5/8", W 3/8", Depth 7/8" (1.5 x 1.1 x 2.2 cm)
Womanizer Premium - L 5/8", W 3/8", Depth 7/8" (1.5 x 1.1 x 2.2 cm)
Satisfyer Curvy 1+ - L/ W 5/8”, Depth 1 5/8” (1.6 x 4.2 cm)
Satisfyer Curvy 2+ - L/ W 5/8”, Depth 1 7/8” (1.5 x 4.8 cm)
Device size from smallest to largest:
Womanizer Liberty - L 4”, W 2” (10.5 x 5.0 cm)
Satisfyer Curvy 1+ - L 5″, W 1 3/4″ (13 x 4.5 cm)
Satisfyer Curvy 2+ - L 5 1/4″, W 1 3/4″ (13.4 x 4.5 cm)
Womanizer Premium - L 6”, W 2” (15.5 x 5 cm)
Womanizer Duo - L 8”, W 2.5” (20.3 x 5.8 cm)
Prices are listed from lowest to highest, and key features. People’s preferences for intensity is personal and relative—some folks prefer gentler stimulation and some can’t do without high intensity, high power stimulation.
Curvy 2+ is covered entirely in silicone and features both air pulsation from within the nozzle, and vibrations from the lip of the nozzle (11 intensities and vibrations). It features the deepest nozzle. It’s waterproof and app-enabled.
Curvy 1+ is half covered silicone, half covered ABS and has the second deepest nozzle. It also features both air pulsation from within the nozzle, and vibrations from the lip of the nozzle (11 intensities and vibrations). It’s also waterproof and app-enabled.
Reviews tend to note that Satisfyer Curvies are mid-intensity devices.
Liberty is a compact air pulsation vibe with an ABS plastic body and a silicone nozzle. It comes with a cover for discretion. It is waterproof and features 6 intensities (no patterns).
Premium is the luxury version of the air pulse vibe. It’s covered in smooth silky silicone, is waterproof and features 12 intensity levels and autopilot mode.
Duo is unique in that it combines air pulsation plus internal stimulation in a single device. It is entirely covered in silicone, and is waterproof and features 12 intensity levels and 10 vibration patterns.
Reviews tend to note that Womanizer Liberty, Premium and Duo are high intensity devices.
Constantin Brâncuși, “Princesse X” (1915-16)
For the longest time I thought this was a sculpture of a beautiful, minimalist phallus. Turns out it’s meant to be a portrait of Princess Marie Bonaparte of Greece and Denmark, great-grandniece of Napoleon, Prince Philip's aunt, and heir to the fortune of Monte Carlo. Apparently Brancusi really disliked her, calling her “vain” and believing she was obsessed with sex. He denied that the sculpture had any phallic associations—it was actually pulled from exhibition at the Salon des Indépendants in Paris (1920) because some deemed it too obscene to show to French heads of state.
Marie Bonaparte was a curious woman who was also super-rich. She married Prince George in 1907 and it was a sexually unfulfilling situation. Because she was unable to orgasm during missionary, she believed she was “frigid” and consulted with Freud, who promoted the theory that orgasm achieved by clitoral stimulation was “immature” and that the ideal kind of orgasm was achieved only by vaginal penetration.
By 1924, frustrated with her difficulties and wanting to seek physical solutions rather than psychological, she started to conduct and publish sex research under a pseudonym. Marie was convinced of the importance of the clitoris in orgasm but the science wasn’t there yet. In her research she measured the distance between clitorises and vaginas in 243 people and collected data on their orgasmic experiences. In 1927 she decided to have a surgeon conduct experimental surgery on her, to move her glans clitoris closer to her vagina, but after surgery she still found herself “frigid”. It’s likely that the surgeries left scarring and actually contributed to a decrease in sensitivity.
Her insistence on the importance of the clitoris was groundbreaking, but unfortunately the lack of scientific knowledge around orgasm and her pursuit of idealized sexual fulfilment led to unnecessary, unsuccessful surgeries. We now know that the clitoris is generally the primary anatomical source of sexual pleasure, that its full structure extends deep into the body and that it may also be the source of “vaginal orgasms” via internal stimulation. We’ve come around to the understanding that sexual response is individual, and that idealizing outcomes can create its own set of problems. Sex educators today place emphasis on exploration and play, being present in your body, finding your own pleasure and learning and communicating what feels good to you.
NB: We use publicly available research sources but we are not doctors or health professionals ourselves. Sources - McCouat (2015) "The Controversies of Constantin Brancusi Princess X and the Boundaries of Art", Art In Society (1), Wallen, Lloyd (2010) "Female Sexual Arousal: Genital Anatomy and Orgasm in Intercourse", US National Library of Medicine, National Institutes of Health (2), Cryle P., Moore A. (2011) “Relocating Marie Bonaparte’s Clitoris. In: Frigidity. Genders and Sexualities in History” (3). Image - Pinterest.
]]>Hey!
I’m a cis woman who is curious about butt stuff. I’ve never done it before and I’m scared it’ll hurt. Will it hurt?? What’s the best way to ease myself into anal??
Thanks! Butt-Curious
Hi B-C! Butt play shouldn't hurt and we're here with some tips and things to think about before getting into it.
The first step is to eroticize the anal area. This is simply a mental exercise. It’s considered to be one of our most private places and it’s understandable for shame to be held there, and for there to be anxieties around pain, uncleanliness and whether or not it's cute. But it’s also a region that’s abundant with nerve endings and therefore potential for pleasure. In addition to this, the rectum shares a wall with the vaginal canal, and some folks find that erogenous zones like the g-spot can be stimulated indirectly via anal sex (!!). Part of eroticizing the anus is imagining and understanding it as a place for pleasure. If you're not feeling it in your brain, chances are you won't be feeling it irl either. So start with a fantasy. Or perhaps some light porn (look for chill stuff like massage, teasing, fingering and licking rather than penetration, and remember porn isn't sex ed--it's fantasy) and see how you feel about it.
Try spending some time with your butt, maybe during a long relaxing shower. Massage it with some coconut oil--squeeze and rub your own cheeks and take note of what feels good. Try circling a finger around your anus. We like the idea of adding anal play to something you already know you enjoy, so perhaps try the above while using a vibe. Get a feel for what you enjoy and find pleasurable.
If you feel relaxed and aroused enough after some massaging, try inserting a washed and well-lubed finger. Start small, and you don’t have to rush into this or go deep. The inner sphincter is involuntary and will only welcome penetration if you are relaxed and aroused. The anal area is not self lubricating and isn’t elastic like the vagina is. We don’t recommend you use numbing creams because if you feel pain, that’s an important thing to acknowledge--it’s a sign that you should stop. The sensation of stretching and fullness will be new, but pain means your butt isn't ready for whatever is happening.
You can try a small butt plug to get used to the feeling of the area being stretched and having something in there. A dilator set designed to train your anus over time is also a great option--it works by stretching the skin and getting your muscles accustomed gradually. Satisfyer's Booty Call set features three tapered plugs in different shapes, and Hathor/ SUTIL's Rich Water-Based lube is specially formulated for anal play with silicone toys and latex condoms.
Do not use the same fingers (or toys, or dicks, or barriers) in your vagina that have been in your butt without cleaning them or switching in an unused barrier.
Involve a partner any time you feel ready to do so.
When it comes to anal penetration from a partner, plenty of communication and patience is key. You don’t have to go straight to penetration (with a penis or dildo). Dirty talk is a fun way to affirm consent and enhance arousal--don’t be shy about asking for what you need! Could be a long body massage that slowly narrows to focus on your butt. Could be oral sex with anal rubbing and fingering. Could be having your ass licked and eaten. Could be an orgasm beforehand to feel really aroused and relaxed. Could be your partner rubbing a dildo or their penis on your cheeks and anal area as an extended tease. It could also be a combination of all of those things to get you totally ready, turned on and wanting anal sex. Your partner should use LOTS of lube and take it sloooowwww and shallow to start. Don't use hardcore porn as your beginner inspo. Do use a condom if you are non-monogamous. Check in with each other--remember that you control the position, the speed and depth of insertion. If you start to feel tense and nervous your sphincter will clench up, which will make penetration difficult and painful. Stay relaxed and present in your body. Register how penetration and fullness feel and whether or not you find that pleasurable and arousing. And if you need to stop, stop. It’s not a failure if it doesn’t happen or doesn’t feel good for you. There are always other times should you want to try again. If you hate it and never want to try it again that's fine too! It's absolutely possible that for some folks anal sex will be painful no matter what (possible reasons: a sensitive anal area, partner's penis may be too big, medical conditions, simply feels unpleasant or not sexy). What’s most important is that you genuinely enjoy what you are doing and that it makes you feel good.
If you’re worried about poo, be sure that you’ve had a healthy bowel movement that day and that you’re not experiencing incontinence. Listen to your gut! If you’re feeling off it’s probably not a good time to have anal sex. Feces isn’t stored in the rectum (it just passes through there on its way out), but the likelihood that there are trace amounts of fecal matter there is just a reality--it’s your butt. Many folks like to use a douche but as a beginner, a good rinse or some wipes are generally all you need.
For a longer discussion about anal anatomy and sex, check out Dr. Justin Lehmiller's Sex and Psychology Podcast episode with Dr. Evan Goldstein: "Everything You Ever Wanted To Know About Anal Sex" via Spotify.
Sources: Image foreground - Attributed to Onesimos, red-figured cup decorated on the interior with an erotic scene (510BC-500BC) via British Museum (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0). Background - gambier20 via Wikimedia Commons (CC BY-SA 2.0).
]]>Water-based lubes are the most versatile type of lube as they are compatible with most common sex toy materials (silicone, stainless steel, glass) and condoms (both latex and non-latex).
We carry water-based lubes in several different viscosities—light, medium and rich. Hathor/ SUTIL’s Luxe Body Glide is light viscosity and pH balanced for the vagina, and their Rich Body Glide has a thicker, richer feel and is pH balanced for the anus though still in range for the vagina. Somewhere in the middle is the brand’s Original Lubricant Pure, as well as the popular, medically-developed and inexpensive Slippery Stuff.
Looking for something that doesn’t require a lot of reapplication? Silicone is the longest-lasting option because it isn't water-soluble and doesn't absorb into the body. For this reason it’s great to use in wet situations where a water-based lube would just wash away (be cautious though, silicone makes tiling and slick surfaces super slippery). Many folks also love silicone lube for anal play.
There’s a general consensus that silicone toys should not be used with silicone lube. Some tests have shown that silicone lube may interact with silicone toys in a way that compromises the structure of the toy. Best to play it safe? Probably. But silicone with stainless steel or glass toys and latex condoms? Go for it!
We stock Überlube, a luxe, multi-purpose silicone lube that can also be used for hairstyling and to prevent chafing (if you're athletic).
Oil-based lubes can be contentious. They’re associated with higher rates for infections as they tend to not dissipate or absorb as rapidly as other substances. Oil can harbour bacteria and cause irritation in some people. Oil-based products are also not compatible with latex condoms and may stain your sheets.
Lube tubes are handy for delivering lube easily and directly to needed areas. They also help to keep things hygienic during activities that include both vaginal and anal play.
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Hi there!
I’m an enjoyer of anal sex and I’m thinking about buying a douche. Do I need to be using one and if so, how do I use it?
Regards, D-Bag
Hey D-Bag!
Lots of folks who enjoy anal pleasure like to use douches to ease their minds. It’s more of a preference than a necessity and usage comes with its own considerations.
Ahead of getting into douching, a fiber-balanced diet helps with regular bowel movements and consistent basic hygiene practices helps to minimize the spread of bacteria. That said, an asshole is an asshole and it’s possible that traces of fecal matter will be present.
What a douche does is flush out your rectum with liquid. To get started, make sure the douche and nozzle are clean—wash them well with soap and water, and if you choose to use a chemical cleaning agent make sure it's fully rinsed off before inserting the nozzle into your bum—the inside of your body is comprised of much more delicate skin than your exterior and can easily be damaged!
Fill the douche with water that is slightly cooler than lukewarm. Again, the tissues on the inside of your body are very delicate. Tap water and saline solutions are okay. DON'T use soap or any other chemical agent as they may irritate or even burn you. Lube up and insert the nozzle gently—don't force it in as that can tear tissue. Get your butthole relaxed with a lubed finger if it helps! Over a toilet, squeeze the bulb to push the water in and let it flow back out, and repeat until the water runs clear. Some people like to wait up to a couple hours to make sure all of the fluid is out. When you’re done, clean the douche with soap and water.
Something you really don’t want to do is go overboard with douching. It’s not recommended to do this more than 2-3 times a week and definitely not more than once a day. Overuse can mess with the rectum, bowels and gastrointestinal tract and your body’s natural internal chemical balance and elimination rhythm. This can lead to problems such as rectal irritation and easier tearing, which can lead to increased risk of infections.
NB: We use publicly available medical research sources but we are not doctors or health professionals ourselves. Info - Columbia University. Image foreground - Attributed to Pytheos, fragment of one of the marble friezes (c. 350 BC) via British Museum (CC BY-NC-SA 4.0). Background - Astro_Alex via Wikimedia Commons (CC BY-SA 2.0).
Hey there,
My partner and I have gotten into a bit of ass-eating recently and while we both really enjoy it, sometimes I wonder how hygienic it is while I’m going down there. Please put my mind at ease?? Is rimming safe?
Thanks! Tosser (sometimes Tossee)
Hi T(sT)!
Rimming (aka analingus, eating booty, ass eating, salad tossing etc etc) comes with its own particular set of risks—we’ll walk you through them and some risk reduction practices.
A good wash of the anal area beforehand is recommended, but this doesn’t fully eliminate the possibility of bacterial spread, and it doesn’t reduce the risk of contracting or spreading sexually transmitted infections.
The interior of the anus hosts intestinal bacteria, so oral-anal contact carries potential for contracting and spreading bacteria and parasites. If these are ingested it's possible they may cause eye, mouth and/ or throat infections, fever, cramping, and diarrhea.
It’s also important to remember not to spread rectal bacteria to vaginas and urethras so wash up (lips, mouth, tongue, hands, etc) before going there if that’s in the mix.
If you’re going to be the rimmer and you have cold sores or cuts on your mouth or tongue it’s advisable to refrain from unprotected oral-anal contact.
If you anticipate being on the receiving end and you’ve recently experienced gastrointestinal issues (gas, diarrhea, digestive infections, constipation), bleeding, open sores (including hemorrhoids) it’s probably best to pass on this particular activity for the moment!
Hepatitis A or B, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, HPV and genital warts are all STIs potentially contracted through rimming.
To reduce risk, the use of barriers such as dental dams is recommended. If you don’t have dental dams you can swap in a condom (carefully cut it down the side and spread it out). You can apply lube to the side of the barrier that makes contact with the anus to increase pleasure.
NB: We use publicly available medical research sources but we are not doctors or health professionals ourselves. Info - Columbia University (1). Image - Kim Sung-Jin via Pinterest. *THIS ARTISTIC PICTURE IS NOT MEANT TO BE INSTRUCTIVE. USE AN INTACT BARRIER.*
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When We-Vibe released the updated Touch X and Tango X vibrators earlier this year, sex toy internet let out a collective “YESSSS”. The original and much beloved Touch and Tango were already touted as two of the most powerful and reliable compact vibrators on the market and now they’re … better?!?! Is it possible??? With the r&d We-Vibe is known for, yes, it is possible.
So … what’s new?
Both toys feature rumblier vibrations and a larger range of intensities.
Their control panels have been improved with multiple buttons for different functions.
Stronger, larger magnetic charging hubs and new cables that are now uniform with We-Vibe’s more recent products.
Improved battery life.
New, gorgeous colours! Velvety green and deep midnight blue!
Tango X now has a silicone handle for better grip (very handy if you're using a lot of lube). It’s a bit bigger than it was before but still fits inside dildos that have a hollowed out space for bullet vibes.
Tango X and Touch X’s design improvements aren’t just aesthetic—they’re real upgrades that make sense and deliver a better user experience. And while it’s true that Tango X and Touch X are pricier than other compact vibrators, We-Vibe is renowned for creating high quality, reliable, long-term favourites that absolutely deliver when it comes to stimulation.
Hey there!
I’ve heard a ton about the g-spot but I don't think I've found mine :(. There are so many articles online and some say the g-spot doesn’t exist at all! Do I have one? If I do how can I be sure it's actually THE g-spot?
Thanks! - G Or No G?
Hey GONG?,
Your confusion is totally understandable as so much has been made of the g-spot over the past several decades and plenty have expressed doubt over its existence. Adding to the confusion is the profusion of clickbait headlines proclaiming that it doesn’t exist or that it absolutely MUST be found to have a great sex life.
“G-spot” doesn’t refer to a distinct body part (like “liver” or “clitoris”). Rather, it is a controversial, conjectural term that refers to an erogenous zone felt a few inches into the vagina, usually when placing pressure on the anterior (front) wall. It may or may not encompass the vaginal wall, internal clitoris, urethral sponge, and all of their erectile and connective tissues and nerves. So, while it’s technically true that it “doesn’t exist” as its own discrete anatomic entity, that doesn’t mean there isn’t a particular area where some people feel strong sexual pleasure when it is stimulated.
I imagine that a person’s sexual organs probably take on their own minor individual variances in size, shape and sensitivity, as with any other part of the body. Think about our faces—we may all have eyes, noses and mouths in common, but some people have eyes that are closer together or further apart, wider or narrower noses, different lip structures. Some people are extremely sensitive to particular kinds of stimulation in specific places, like tickling or nipple pinching, others feel not much at all. My guess is that it’s likely the same with our sex organs and our measures for what is pleasurable—we are going to have individualized and variable responses.
You may or may not have the same response to stimulation as other folks. Work with what you have. It isn’t necessary to find the exact g-spot or any other specific spot that anyone else is talking about. What you CAN do is explore your own body, be present for the things you find pleasurable, and acknowledge the places that feel good to YOU.
There are a variety of vibrators and dildos designed for internal stimulation. They’re usually curved or feature a bended tip, some reach deeper than others. Sometimes the tip is narrower and other times it’s quite broad. Vibrators range in power as well—gentle vibrations for folks who experience a lot of sensitivity and strong vibrations for folks who like a little more.
One of the best vibrators on the market. Rave is backed by a solid motor and covered in silky smooth silicone. Its asymmetrical shape produces unique, targeted stimulation.
A classic, use-it-forever sex toy in solid, weighty stainless steel, engineered to massage the g-region (or the prostate).
Duo is the 21st century version of the popular rabbit vibrator, designed to stimulate the g-region and the glans clitoris at the same time.
Tantus' version of a fantasy dildo features the shape of its head repeated all the way down its shaft, designed to ripple against the g-region over and over and over again.
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Illustrations by Betty Dodson from her book “Sex for One: The Joy of Selfloving” (1986) via @wefindwildness.
Playing with pleasure and aesthetics also means exploring the potent link between music and eroticism. Science has tried to explain it in different ways: Darwin once theorized that music evolved as a way to attract lovers, and more recently researchers have found that the brain-chemical system that gives us feelings of pleasure from sex (and drugs and food) is also responsible for the experience of musical pleasure. One day we'll write an article on orgasmic music but for now, here are five arousing playlists that cross genres and eras. Follow us here (there will be more in the future, with guest curators hopefully!).
A MOOD: Caught up in a rapture.
A CRUISE: Sunsets, sweat and sex.
A BEAT: A pulsing, percolating dark room. Ecstasy into infinity.
Songs are sequenced to flow, but shuffle through if you have to!
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